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Been by the seaside today. The sky was clear, for once. Nature is a place for wonder – who made all the tiny flowers? They just stand there, in all its beauty, never shouting for appreciation – I strive to learn. For me it’s difficult to stand alone. The question why haunts me constantly: why am I here, why must I die, why is all this beauty here and then it’s gone? During so many years I have tried to learn not to ask so many questions, not to be doubtful, to just see and love but it’s difficult. I guess it’s part of my personality. I do ask questions, I do dout. My crochet will be black tonight.